For every parent in the known world

For every parent in the known world, there is at least one or two times a day when the kids are going to bed that, after you've given them a drink, fluffed their pillows, read them seven stories, given them a sleeping tablet, hit them round the head with a lump hammer, tried smothering them with a pillow then remembered you love them and turned it into a game of peekaboo and also attempted force feeding brandy down there neck, that you wish they'd go the fuck to sleep. Well now, instead of the previous malarkey, tell them how you feel, through the medium of an audio book. Narrated by Samuel L Jackson. Called "Go The Fuck To Sleep".

I'm sure my parents would have loved to have read this to me, on the many occasions I pretended to be asleep, hiding under the covers as they checked in on me, snoring loudly, waiting til they disappeared then watching "Have I Got News for You" and thinking I was the most sophisticated 19 year old in England. Okay, I lie, I meant masterbating.

Anyway, Here it is, for you all to enjoy. Now, Go the fuck to sleep.