Sunday, 22 January 2012

Hot Topic: That geezers on meth. Simples.

Soooooo, been a couple of weeks since the last of these bad boys, I must apologise, I needed a week to sun myself in beautiful Cleethorpes. What old crap have we been discussing this week world? Well, in answer to your question, we done talk about different cartoon characters on drugs, the best guitarists in the world and annoying as hell song lyrics that get stuck in your head! Onwards to glory!

So, imagine a much beloved cartoon character, lets take for example, Scooby Doo, and now imagine that cartoon character on drugs? Stoner Scooby? You got it! Him and Shaggy must be the dope fiends of the cartoon world! All those ghosts and ghouls are just paranoid delusions dreamt up whilst hitting the bong too much! It works for many cartoon characters! Elmer Fudd... Way too many pills! Porky Pig... That guy has taken far too much ecstasy! Daffy Duck, well that lad must be on vicadin, why else would he have that gruff demeanour, and prone to outbursts of pure insanity. Daffy Duck, the Gregory House of the cartoon world! Foghorn Leghorn obviously has a crack pipe hidden amongst that feathery body of his and well, Yosemiti Sam. That geezers on meth. Simples.

Bit of a conundrum next, as it's not really a huge topic, more of a question. I don't know about you, but I seem to be able to remember lyrics from ridiculous songs, and I don't just mean one or two, I mean, the whole song. I nearly melted poor Phill's fragile little warped mind today by reciting the entire lyrics to Will Smith's 'Wild Wild West'. Don't ask me how I know them, I just do. They are stuck in my head whether I want them to be or not. So, readers of Hot Topic, if there are any of you, or perhaps I merely ramble to myself in some drug or drink induced dream, imagining that people read this, whereas in reality it is just me, burbling to myself in the corner, giggling at my own handywork, what lyrics get stuck in your head? Don't be afraid to say. Unless it's something like 5ive or B*Withced or something, then you really should seek medical attention.

Anway, finally, onto a very hotly debated subject. The best metal guitarist in the world. Now, no parameters were set on whether this was living dead or whatever, but we did decided that it was nigh on impossible to decide upon as it always boils down to a matter of preference. I love, love, love Zakk Wylde and have had the privilege of seeing him play dans Birmingham on valentines day, best valentines day present EVAH! However, what about Iommi? What about Gers, Smith and Murray? Or Hammett and Hetfield? Fuck, what about Jim Root? Tom Morello? John Petrucci? See the list is endless! There are so many goddamn great guitarists in the world I cannot choose! My head is nigh on ready to explode at this idea!! So, how do we beat this? Well, what about Metal guitarist Top Trumps? That's right, have them as Top Trumps and lets play a game and see who's the best! So, every week, I'm going to release four Top Trump cards leading up to March, who knows, they may just be the next big playground fad!

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